Month: October 2015

October 30: I had the privilege of working with Rob Ford when he was City Councillor for Ward 2. He told me one afternoon that “politics is a blood sport” and that was certainly how he played the game. He was not afraid of being unpopular, and he won my respect for being direct, diligent and committed to what he believed.

When he became Mayor, I had retired so I had no involvement with him. But the whole City was treated to the soap opera of his behaviour as he descended into his various addictions. Unfortunately, I’ve seen this play before and know what happens in the final act. But then, something amazing happened: He got clean and sober. Most people are unable to gain sobriety on their first attempt and he apparently accomplished that and returned to City Council. I felt a quiet admiration for his strength and courage in dealing with his addictions, even while I held my breath expecting the “inevitable” relapse.

Then a kick in the gut: a cancer diagnosis. And not just any cancer but one that is aggressive and usually deadly. And again, something amazing happened. After treatment he was declared cancer free. He returned to City Hall, began working out, and declared that he felt better than at any other time in his life.

Last week we heard that there had been “a bump in the road”, and yesterday we learned that the cancer had returned. We discovered this because Rob Ford told us so on live TV as he left the hospital having just undergone a bladder biopsy and a meeting with his Doctors.  I don’t know whether he agreed to the interviews, but it certainly appeared that the press had “cornered him”. Here he was, clearly in physical and emotional agony, having to deal with a gang of reporters intent on a headline for the evening news.

OK I get it; he’s a public figure and lives, to an extent, in the public eye. But nobody should be forced to stand on the sidewalk and recount their medical history to the media in detail. That he is “99.9% certain” that it is malignant is heartbreaking, but it is also something that we have no right or need to know. When he was battling addictions and running the City, the press had a right to ask pointed questions. Yesterday they went over the line and descended to the level of driving slowly by a car crash. Love him or hate him, Rob Ford is entitled to his privacy and our respect.

October 22: There will be a murder on my street and I fear that I will be responsible.

This all started in February. My early-morning read of the newspaper was  interrupted by a grating, droning whine that went on and on and on. I soon realized that it was a leaf-blower. This seemed a bit strange since it had snowed overnight – enough to leave about a centimeter on the ground. The mystery was solved when I saw a neighbour from across the street using a leaf-blower to clear the snow from a driveway. He had started at the back and was blowing the snow down the driveway toward the street, so it was getting deeper and harder to move as he went along. I’ll bet it took 40 minutes before he was done, the droning and whining continuing for the whole time.

I felt the urge to go over and explain to him that he could have had the job done in 10 minutes with a shovel, or perhaps 15 minutes with a broom, and he would have had some exercise as well. But, live and let live… Unfortunately, it became an on-going problem. He uses the damn thing at every opportunity: clearing the driveway of dust; blowing grass clippings off the lawn; drying lawn furniture that he had washed to put out at the curb for garbage. I kid you not.

With Autumn now in full swing there are actual leaves for him to blow about. His tree has not yet fully turned so we have many weeks of this torment yet to come. This morning there were perhaps 36 leaves on his lawn and sure enough, he was there for a half-hour moving them onto the road. I was tempted to walk over and pick them up with my bare hands and throw them into the street….

Anyway, if you hear of a murder on Bernie Crescent you will know who did it. I shall beat him to death with a leaf rake. A nice touch of irony, and there’s not a court in the land that would convict me.

October 6: So what’s it all about ? What does 2 months in Europe teach you ? Actually, quite a lot. Certainly more than I can adequately convey in a short-ish post. But here are a few initial thoughts:

Life can be better when you relax. When I have travelled in the past, even for relatively short periods of time, I have always had a plan. I always felt that I had to account for every minute and every day because “we might not ever be here again”. This trip was long enough that, as a friend said: I could have a journey rather than a trip. I left a lot of the time unplanned and tried to be open to new experiences along the way. Some of the most enjoyable and rewarding moments came from that strategy.

People do not generally have your best interests in mind. Conversely, some unhappy experiences arose because I let people convince me that they were trying to help me when they were not. A taxi driver sat with the meter running while I was in the pharmacy because he said it would be hard to find another taxi on Sunday. That cost me 25 Euro. Call me a Pollyanna but I have tended to think that people are basically good and honest, and that may not always be the case. Others usually have their own interests in mind.

Drinking wine and eating baguettes every day causes weight gain. Duh. I gained 2 kilos in spite of making the effort to go for a run every few days.

I think I could live in Europe. I understand that travelling on a vacation is not really “living” in a country. But this trip was long enough that I felt I gained some perspective on what living overseas would mean. I enjoy the lifestyle: the emphasis on being active and involved; the “café culture” and living outside your home; the food and drink (although there are now far too many pizza parlours and far too few real bistros in France). But mostly I love the environment: the busy towns and cities and the hills and mountains that surround them.

I am a work in progress. As I said many months ago, this year is only one part of an on-going effort to become stronger. I think I have made some really good progress in that direction, and many things convince me that is the case. While travelling I made good decisions and did things that made me happy – easy to do when you are alone. But when others came into the mix, and even a few times when I was alone, I would sometimes revert to past habits and ways of thinking even though I consciously told myself that I would not do so. I have a ways to go…

Toronto is really pretty mundane: We’ve all heard the trope about Toronto becoming a “world city”, and certainly there’s merit in aspiring toward that goal. But having been in an actual world city – one with an extensive transit system, beautiful streets and public spaces, an active and well-financed cultural life – it’s discouraging to see how far we have yet to go . We pride ourselves on our multi-national culture and that is an important asset worth protecting. Yet we are plagued by “congestion” primarily because there are so few alternatives to moving about by car. Our streets are abysmal and our public spaces are not much better. The architecture of most new buildings is derivative and repetitive. Public housing is a disaster.

The truly sad part is that City Councillors – the people we elect to show leadership – are virtually all acting only in their own self-interest. Their focus is their ward so their thinking is short-term and parochial. Nobody speaks for the big picture, long-term vision of where we need to go, and the hard (financial) decisions that need to be made to get us there. Without that type of leadership it’s hard to imagine we will ever become anything more than a second-rank, provincial city with aspirations….

September 29: I have a friend who appears once a month like clockwork. It’s entirely predictable and he’s been doing it for years. He shows up for a few days, and then quietly leaves. We’ve been on long walks, driven way too fast on a deserted road and even, a few years back, taken a late-night skinny dip at the cottage. He visited me when I was in Europe during the summer, arriving just when I felt I needed him most, as only a true friend will do.

I’m not really sure when I realized we had become so close; certainly he’s been a part of my life for many years. I’ve spent many happy nights in his company, and some perhaps not so happy too. He’s relaxing and contemplative and he inspires that feeling in me too, although conversations can be a bit one-sided.

My friend brings reflection, tranquility, thoughts of what has passed and hope for what is to come. I trust him with my secrets, my fears and aspirations. We have shared a lot over the years and unburdening myself with him releases me from many of those fears and gives hope to my aspirations. He provides continuity when my life is changing; certainty when I am unsure.

He is spiritual. There is something in his presence that connects me to things larger than I can fully appreciate. He has gravitas. But the thing I think I value most in him, and in my other important friends, is the certainty that he will always be there for me. Every month when he leaves, I  look forward to the day when he reappears and our friendship is renewed.