Month: January 2016

January 23: Back in the 60’s, I went all Greenpeace over the issues around the proposed construction of nuclear power plants in Ontario. Leaving aside nagging questions about the safety of the technology, there were two issues that I didn’t feel were resolved: Firstly, there was the question of how the spent nuclear fuel would be transported and stored long-term, and secondly, there was the cost of the program which was staggering, even in 60’s era dollars.

Some 40 years later, there is still no clear solution in sight to the question of secure storage. The current front-runner seems to be deep disposal in a location that may or may not compromise the Great Lakes. We are in a push-pull between a municipality which sees the storage proposal as a longer-term employment opportunity, versus the potential environmental damage which must be assumed by the greater public over the next 1000 years or so. Whatever the case, there’s still no answer.

The initial cost of constructing Darlington and Bruce was truly staggering and they have only gotten more expensive.  ( The final cost of Darlington alone was roughly $14 Billion. ) Hydro users are still paying a “debt retirement charge” on every monthly bill for their construction, and several weeks ago, the Province decided to fund about $25 Billion in repairs and maintenance for the existing nukes.

Granted, the nuclear industry provides roughly 30,000 jobs (direct and indirect) across Canada*, and nuclear plants provide almost half of the Provincial electricity, but I have often wondered what alternative future might have arisen had the Province decided to spend even a fraction of the initial budget of the nuclear program on the development of alternative energy sources. With that 30 or 40 year head start, we might now be in a leadership position in alternative industries. Instead, we put all our eggs in the basket of an expensive, complex and ultimately unsustainable technology. We  seem to have painted ourselves into the corner of having to shore up  nukes until other sources of energy can be developed.

Similarly, we are facing an economic downturn brought on by our reliance on fossil fuels, particularly oil. I don’t think there is any doubt that we are seeing the end of carbon-based fuels, yet we can’t seem to get beyond the urge to yank the stuff out of the ground and send it down a pipe to another country for processing. Surely there is an opportunity now to think differently and invest in other sectors – perhaps bio-medical research or aerospace – that might make a long-term contribution to a more sustainable Canadian economy and move us away from being “hewers of wood and drawers of water”. If it keeps going this way, I may have to dig out my Greenpeace T-shirt.

* By comparison, the auto parts industry, based largely in Ontario, had a 2008 employment of roughly 100,000.

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Or there’s this February Report on Business article by Eric Reguly:

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/report-on-business/rob-magazine/running-on-empty-bp-needs-to-revisit-green-approach/article28397699/

January 11: Yesterday brought the shocking and sad news that David Bowie had died. I saw the headline “David Bowie has died” at Yahoo.ca and for a nanosecond thought it must be another ridiculous rumour, but then the “oh my God” moment followed as reality took over.

I have to admit that I was not a big fan of his earlier stuff.  The music was not the good ol’ rock ‘n’ roll where I was comfortable. “Space Oddity” was released in 1969, when the Billboard Number 1 song was “Sugar Sugar” by the Archies. “Changes” was big in 1971, when the Number 1 song was “Joy to the World” by Three Dog Night.  In time his music became part of the soundtrack to my life and those of many others.

His appearance, persona and performances were way out there. It was challenging in a strange and slightly disturbing way that forced me to think outside my personal boundaries. But that was the point. “Performance art” was not widely accepted at the time. Pushing the sexuality envelope forced me, and many others I’m sure, to confront my own feelings not just about the music, but other issues like homosexuality and gender identity. And just when I thought I might have come to terms with one iteration of the man, a new and different Bowie would appear. No doubt about his staying power: all told he released something like 27 studio albums, 9 live albums and appeared with others on 49 compilation projects. As one of the pundits on CBC pointed out, half in jest I think: “He survived disco…”.

And I think that’s what makes me sad. Here was a guy who was not afraid. He put his art out there no matter the context of the days and was always open to the next challenge, the next page in the story. He was a master showman, and I mean that to apply to his life as well as to his stage presence. While many celebrities live with a public persona that is more marketing than reality, his presence felt more genuine and legitimately part of his music and artistic expression. That he was an artistic genius seems inescapable, and the world is a sadder and less vibrant place with him gone.

There is nothing more painful than watching someone do something they don’t love because they think it’s a way to get people to love them.   DB

January 2: I started writing this blog almost a year ago because I felt there were some fairly significant changes coming in my life and I thought that writing about them would be an interesting and creative way to explore their significance. A secondary purpose was to create a way to share some information on my trip to Europe during the summer that didn’t involve bulk e-mail and downloading pictures. At first it was quite intimidating; what could I possibly say that had meaning for anyone else ? Gradually I came to understand it as another form of artistic expression – I’ve enjoyed writing this material more than you’ve enjoyed reading it, of that I can be certain.

And really, a lot of it has not been terribly analytical. As the old saying goes: “Way down deep, I’m shallow”. But I hope that I have exposed some of the truth that I feel and that it will have resonated with you from time to time.

The events I foresaw in January (my move and the trip) have passed pretty much as I anticipated. I am very happy in my new home; the convenience, the location in an “urban” environment, and the closeness of my Mum and Sister, have all had a positive effect. I feel that I am growing stronger living here. I’ve posted a lot about the trip elsewhere. Suffice to say that I’m also happy with how it worked out as well. It wasn’t perfect, but no trip ever is.

Past the foreseeable events, there were others – happy and sad – that affected me as well. Marisa and Joel are married and have an “instant family”. What a wonderful and happy adventure for both of them.  Marisa is no longer “my little girl”, but rather a mature woman with bigger responsibilities than I have at the moment. It has been a welcome challenge for me to accept the fact that our roles have substantially and permanently changed.

Sadly, we lost a couple of very good people last year – both shocking and disturbing for their suddenness and prematurity. Ed and Annette were co-workers from Etobicoke days, and Norah was a special friend. They all left us far too soon and with so much yet to accomplish in their lives.  I’m at an age when this will become more common, and facing my own mortality is uncomfortable but necessary. As a friend says: “If this was a football game, we would be deep in the fourth quarter.”

So we have been granted another new year, a blank slate full of optimism and promise. All we can do is go forward a day at a time, and accept the challenges as they arise. I can see some really positive things in my life, but like last year, it’s the unknowns that are troubling. That said, I’m feeling more comfortable with myself than I have for some time. With the right attitude, and support from all of you my friends, I look forward to making 2016 a very good year.

December 29:  I heard a robin a couple of days ago and like many other times, its’ song took me back to a memory I have of my Dad sitting with me in the bedroom of the first family home on Soudan Avenue. It was bedtime. The window was open a bit and someone was mowing a distant lawn with a gas mower. A robin was singing as the sun set. I was 4 years old and I remember to this day the feeling of peace and security of that night. I’ve been thinking a lot about Dad lately because he died 3 years ago today.

Sadly, when he died he was not the kind, generous, funny man I knew and loved. Alzheimer’s had turned him into a stranger. But this was not the first time he was a stranger to me. Dad was an alcoholic who drank heavily during the first two decades of my life. As a child, I had no understanding of alcohol and its effects, so it was confusing and upsetting that my Dad would disappear with a couple of drinks and a foolish, stumbling stranger would emerge. His behaviours during that period affected the person that I have become, and it’s convenient to blame him for some of my many faults and failures.

Lately though, I’ve come to understand him from a different perspective. As he tucked me in bed that night, he was less than 10 years removed from the navigator’s seat on a Halifax bomber. He had flown 33 missions and survived flack and a ditching in England. Once home, he went back to school, became a CA, got married, had 2 kids and bought that house on Soudan for $12,000. And he turned to booze for reasons we will never know. His disease affected his judgement, and he interacted with me in some ways that are still painful to recall. But he wasn’t acting maliciously or malevolently – he was always doing his best as he understood it in the moment.

Somewhere in my early 20’s he got sober. He went to AA meetings and quit cold turkey. I’m ashamed to say that I don’t know the exact date, because I was too self-absorbed to realize that a small miracle had happened, so every year in more than 30 years of sobriety, his (re)birthday would pass unnoticed.

What emerged was a warm, gregarious and supportive man. He was fundamentally a people person. He enjoyed his life. He loved golf and hacking around golf courses with him ultimately brought us closer. In October, I visited the Toronto Hunt Club where he had been a member. I sat in the parking lot for a while watching some groups straggle in off the course in the late afternoon sun. He would have been right at home with them, laughing and trading bullshit about the shots made or missed.  That’s the guy I remember as my Dad – the same one who was tucking me in more than 60 years ago.

PS: Two days after I wrote this post, I went out the back door to discover at least 50 Robins perched in the trees over the garage and singing their hearts out. While I know that it’s fairly common for some Robins to overwinter here, I’ve never seen more than a handful at one time. It’s almost as if someone knew…..